i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
