I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
