I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize