how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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