:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize