Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
