thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
