god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
