found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
