at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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