operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
