24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
As shirtless as possible
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
