We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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