I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
