Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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