I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just googled if crying burns calories
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
