i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There's always time for handjobs
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
