You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
