There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
