I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
