it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
