its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
