Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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