some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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