All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
