What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
