We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
