Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
