At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
