My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
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you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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