That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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