totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
