She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Randomize
