Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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