Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
