Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he was CRYING into my vagina
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
