I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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