you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
