I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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