There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
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