She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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