Swine flu. Run for my life!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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