I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
