then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
