I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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