Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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