Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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