Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I look better un-naked...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
