are you still at the devil's house?
Someone shit on the floor
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
