Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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