Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize