I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
