That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
