So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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