You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
