I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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