No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
