He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize