i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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