Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Randomize
