Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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