Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
