dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
