DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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