dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
