I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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