on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
