i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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